Once upon a time there was a little girl. The little girl was very nice, and she loved to help people in need. Her favourite thing in the world was to walk around looking for people she could help. She had a magic wheel barrel with her at all times. The wheel barrel was filled with lots of shit she would use to help the people she met on her way. It was always full, so she would always have plenty of shit to give. When she met poor people or someone who needed help, she gave a shit. Sometimes she ran into bad people, and the little girl was so nice that she gave them shit too. She gave them the most. After she had given them enough shit they would always become better people.
One day the little girl was walking down the street. She saw a group of bad boys bullying a little puppy dog. The dog was crying and screaming for them to stop, but they wouldn´t listen. The little girl became very mad and walked over to the boys, and told them to stop bullying the little puppy dog. The boys just laughed at her. The little girl became furious. Her wheel barrel was filled up for the day, and she picked up a piece of shit and gave it to one of the boys. Then she gave them another piece, and another. She gave them lots of shit. The boys were just standing there, amazed. They were very impressed with the little girl giving them all that shit, so they decided to be nice instead. They told the little puppy dog they were sorry, and they walked away. The puppy dog was so happy. He ran satisfied towards her, jumping of joy. She gave him a little piece too, and everyone around her understood how much she liked to give a shit.
She walked further down the street. Suddenly she noticed an old lady trying to cross over. The traffic was getting pretty thick now, and the old lady could only walk very slow. The cars didn´t care, so they didn´t stop. The little girl got very frustrated, and decided she would help the old lady too. She rolled her wheel barrel right into the middle of the street, and forced all the cars to stop. She walked over to the old lady and helped her cross the street. She also gave her a little something from her wheel barrel. The lady was so thankful, and gave the little girl a big hug and thanked her for giving a shit.
The girl felt pretty good about herself as she kept on walking down the street. She was whistling and thinking about the good deeds she had done for the day. All of a sudden her wheel barrel started to act up. It wouldn´t move so smoothly anymore. She also noticed that she only had one more shit to give. She had given all she had to other people. Now she needed more to get through the day. It takes a lot of effort to give this much shit every day. She felt sad and tired. All the cars just drove by, and all the people just walked on by her. No one would help her, no one had any shit to give. The girl felt angry. How could this be? Her friend Karma had always told her that if she gave a shit, others would too. What would she know anyway? All she did was play with her bird all day long.
Then something great happened. She saw her friend, Karma on the other side of the street. The little girl tried to call on her for help, but it didn´t look like she could hear her. Karma had her bird with her, of course. She always did. She would entertain people by turning and flipping her bird at them. Suddenly she noticed the little girl. She still couldn´t hear her calling because of all the traffic, but she smiled and waved at her. Then she flipped her the bird, right across the street That was the last thing the little girl needed right now, so she flipped it right back. “Thanks for nothing, Karma! You´re a bitch!” she thought to herself.
The little girl didn´t know what to do. How could she get enough shit together if no one would help her? She started to sweat. It was a very hot day, and the little piece of shit that she had left in the wheel barrel started to smell. There was a lemonade stand a couple of meters in front of her. A woman was sitting there selling lemonade. She had lots of it. She also had a bucked of shit she could have given, but she had decided to keep it all to herself.
The lemonade lady started to sniff around. “What´s that smell?? she asked. “This whole place is starting to smell like shit, and it isn´t mine.” She noticed the little girl, and said “Hey you! Get out of here! You´re stinking this whole place up!” The little girl got furious. How could this lady talk to her like that? She didn´t know her or anything about all the good deeds she had done all day. The lemon lady didn´t give a shit. So the little girl picked up the last piece she had in her wheel barrel. She was sick of this. She didn´t need any of this shit. She wouldn´t take shit from anyone anymore. So she aimed at the lemonade woman and threw the last piece at her. She wasn´t used to throwing shit at people, only giving, so her aim wasn´t very good. The woman had a pretty nice lemonade stand. It had a big mug of lemonade, some glasses to drink lemonade from, a big sign saying “lemonade”, and a fan for the heat. And would you believe it. The shit hit the fan. There was shit everywhere. On everyone. All over the lemonade stand, all over the lemonade lady. It would take a whole day to get the place cleaned up.
The little girl didn´t care. She was done with this shit. So she just left her wheel barrel in the middle of the street, and walked away from it all. The lemonade woman cried at her: “Please! Would you lend me a hand?” The girl turned around, looked at her and said: “No, I can´t, but I can give you this”. Then she gave the lemonade lady one of her fingers. “That´s all you get for not giving a shit”. Then she just walked into the sunset, and the little girl gave a shit, no more.
The end.
All the illustrations are made by my daughter:
